Did You Smash It?

Looks like Richard Keys will bounce back...
The Tom Campbell Breakfast Show - Richard Keys by TomCampbell

The Snow Show

It was the last Saturday before Christmas 2010 when the West Midlands almost returned to the ice age.  With heavy snowfall across the region public transport was halted, roads were impassable and the M5 was gridlocked and closed down for almost eight hours.  As I broadcast to Herefordshire, Worcestershire, Shropshire AND The Black Country, I had myself a nice fat captive audience for my shenanigans...

The Wyvern Snow Show by TomCampbell

The Tom Campbell Breakfast Show: Plumber

The Tom Campbell Breakfast Show : Plumber by TomCampbell

12 Random Facts About My "Career" in Radio...

1. My first PAID radio job was reading travel bulletins for Telford FM. I had trouble saying the sponsor's name and had to beat the Worcestershire out of myself to sound reasonably good.

2. To this day I contest that the most effort and time I put into a radio show was when I wasn't getting paid for it: Thank Tonto It's Friday on Youthcomm Radio was a labour of love every week!

3. I walked from my house to Wyvern FM's headquarters in Barbourne (about a 40-minute walk) three days in a row to ask if they'd listened to my demo - they eventually rang me and told me to stop bothering them!

4. My first radio appearance was on Wyvern in 1994. I was ten years old and the presenter asked me why all the girls loved Take That and all the boys hated them. In my naivety I answered "because the girls don't know that two of them are gay."

5. During my five-month stint as Breakfast presenter for The Severn Oswestry, I lived in a Guest House up the road paying £20 a night, coming home back to friends and society at weekends.

6. Whenever I do Breakfast cover for Beacon I stay at The Fox Hotel in Wolverhampton. The room is £20 a night...and it's what you would expect for that price.

7. I have judged four local talent contests including the Shropshire Star Battle Of The Bands and the prestigous "St. Martin's Got Talent".

8. The best idea I ever had but never did: to dress as a Wizard and wander round Oswestry. The feature title: The Wizard Of Oswestry.

9. My interview with Youtuber Brookers was actually RIPPED from my Youthcomm Radio show and turned into Youtube videos by avid fans. People obviously liked it!

10. My longest run in a single slot is my current one: I have hosted Drive Time for ten months and two weeks.

11. The closest I've come to BBC Radio One is about two feet. That was where I met Chris Moyles and had the photo above taken.

12. If somebody emails the radio station asking for a job, I always make time to reply. Nobody afforded me this service when I was trying to break in, so I'm paying it forward.

There you go! Now clear off my lawn!

We Do What We Like And We Like What We Do!

Being in "da radio" lots of people ask me what my favourite music is.  Whilst that's a question I always struggle to answer, this weekend I could finally and definitively answer one music-based quandary, as I now have "a favourite album". Not only is it my PERSONAL favourite album...but I believe it's the greatest album of all time.  Let me explain...

In 2001, Andrew WK became a flash-in-the-pan metal star with his hit "Party Hard".  My 17-year old mind was blown by the song.  I was a chubby, alternative college student who took a great liking to music which featured grown men shouting and wailing.  "Party Hard" filled that quota,with Andrew bellowing his balls off alongside a thrashing metal guitar, a hard-hitting drummer and - bizarrely - the inclusion of a Jools-Holland-esque plinky-plinky piano (yeah, that's what they're officially called - officially!)

For some reason I never listened to the album the followed the single...until last week.  And nine years later, my mind was blown again by Sir W.K's 9-track masterpiece called "I Get Wet".

You only need to hear about twenty seconds of each song to understand the sheer brilliance of this album.  First, here's the title track "Party Hard" in case you've never heard it.


Thrashing metal, steady beat, all groovy.  Here's track two "Take It Off"...


Sounds familiar, does it not?  But it gets better - here's "I Get Wet"...


At this point I was laughing my head off!  Everything is EXACTLY THE SAME!  Surely this can't continue...here's "Ready To Die"


Nice introduction of a kiddy piano, then STRAIGHT BACK INTO IT! Thrashing guitar, drums, plinky-plinky piano the WHOLE NINE YARDS.  Then we come to the second single from the album, this is "She Is Beautiful".


There are three other songs on the album that are "slightly different to Party Hard" as opposed to "carbon copies of awesomeness".  I was listening to this album walking to work genuinely laughing to myself, and my brother Mike admitted he listened to the album with a tear in his eye.  I haven't stopped listening to it either, I had it on this morning as I was writing this blog.  I just cannot get ENOUGH of it!  I listening, I'm singing and I'm laughing.

But we weren't laughing AT Andrew WK, no way no how!  Mister WK is, possibly, one of the most underrated performers in music history! I say that in TOTAL SINCERITY, not one trace of sarcasm whatsoever!  Here's a guy who completely embraced his bread and butter. He knew what song put him on the map, and that was "Party Hard".  He wasn't misguided enough to believe that his song was a deep, moving "Anthem of the times" and he wasn't naive enough to believe that people who bought his album wanted to hear his full range.  I bought this album (from a charity shop for £2, no less) because I love "Party Hard", as I'm sure many other people did.  He knew his limits, and he knew what people wanted to hear.  So he gave it to them...he gave them thirty-plus minutes of balls-to-the-wall, no-nonsense, straight-to-the-point Andrew Double-You Fucking Kay!

That's why, I believe, this is the greatest album of all time!

Long live Andrew, and when it's time to party...you KNOW we'll party hard!

Ticket To Ride

I use the train five or six days a week.  I "know" how the system works.  This isn't a boast at all, because I believe trains and the process of paying for/using train travel is NOT DIFFICULT.  However, I can guarantee that at least three days every week I will be forced to wait up to three minutes for my ticket.  Because in this generation of high-speed Internets and iPhones, our population is flummoxed by only one modern marvel: the self-service Train Ticket machine.

I tend to use the automatic machine to get my tickets because it involves little-to-no conversation and two button presses from me to get exactly what I want.  But it still amazes me to be stood behind somebody who is staring in utter disbelief at the screen, so alarmed and confused by the sight before them. 

I've noticed three kinds of people use these machines:

1) The Rusher : Somebody who wants their ticket nice and quick and take roughly 8 seconds to get the tickets they need and they're gone.

2) The Prodder : Somebody who will get their face as CLOSE AS POSSIBLE to the screen and very slowly and firmly presses each button they need.

3) The Quitter : Somebody who will stand in front of the machine, nonchalantly pressing numerous buttons and - eventually - storming off to buy the ticket from the lady at the counter.

Today, a Monday, it was a combination of The Prodder and The Quitter. A chap not much older than me making very strong jabs at the screen, getting to the part where you type in the first few letters of the station you want and then PAINSTAKINGLY typing "BIRMINGHAM" on the on-screen qwerty keyboard.  Well, I'm giving far too much credit there: he actually wrote "BURMINGHAM" and then got upset when his city of choice didn't appear to have its own Railway station.  Two minutes passed before he gave up and joined the seven-deep queue to buy a ticket the old-fashioned way.

Maybe I should've interjected.  Maybe I should've told him of his spelling error and guided him around the ticket machine options and helped him purchase the ticket he wanted.  But I didn't.  Wanna know why? Because he had tattoos on his head and a fag on the go in a "No Smoking" station. 

If society couldn't teach him, what chance did I have?

On another note, please take time to meet Patrick The Optimist.  I was in a rubbish mood today and after reading Patrick's story, I never will be again: http://www.patricktheoptimist.co.uk/

Sun, Sea and Surveys

Hello there you.  Yeah, you!  Don't walk on pretending you haven't seen me, hey!! Hey come back, I only want a second of your time!! COME BACK!! DON'T PUT YOUR HEADPHONES IN, COME OOON!!!

Thank you...could you do an survey for me? It's about radio and stuff...cheers ears!!

http://www.surveymonkey.com/s/6XHXS2P

I'm Going Through Changes...

It's been a funny few weeks for the wacky world of the wireless!

Back in April, OFCOM made the decision to deregulate commercial radio stations, allowing struggling brands to  be rejuvenated whilst maintaining their statuary requirement for local-led content.

And in real person language: OFCOM are throwing the rule book out.

What is really means is that money-strapped  radio stations are now allowed to merge with others to provide one larger service, as opposed to lots of smaller ones.  So, say I own "Radio A", "Radio B" and "Radio C" which all operate across the county of "Madeupshire".  Each stations has it's own staff, three presenters that broadcast all day long (Breakfast presenter 7-10, Midday presenter 10-2 and Afternoon presenter 2-7) and sales team and serve each area of Madeupshire.  Thanks to OFCOM relaxing their laws and deregulating radio, I am now allowed to approach them to change my business practice.  Once they agree it, I will shut down "Radio A" "Radio B" and "Radio C" and launch "Radio D" which serves the ENTIRE of Madeupshire as opposed to little, financially non-viable sectors of the county.  As a business model, it does make sense: Radio D can be a much bigger product and service a larger area.

Of course, it means that I'm now overstaffed.  With Radio A, B and C I needed separate news readers, sales teams, not to mention separate presenters.  News readers are mostly safe, as OFCOM have said that even though they are relaxing these broadcast laws they still want local news.  Sales team are mostly safe, after all you still need to flog advertising for this new Superstation - no need to lose peoples there.

That just leaves NINE presenters...SIX of which are now superfluous.  Radio D needs to sound as good as it can, and only needs three presenters to tick along.  What will follow is a cruel, Big Brother-esque evition of two thirds of the Jockey workforce, leaving only the strongest and most talented to continue broadcasting to the county of Madeupshire.  The other six will join the thousands of has-beens, never-weres, wannabes and no-chancers in Radio Wilderness (which broadcasts on 666.6fm and long wave and plays "The Funeral Dirge" in between traffic and travel updates from Tim In The Truck)

This is a hypothetical situation, but is not inaccurate.  This is a story that will be popping up on Digital Spy a lot in the next few weeks.  Global, the body behind the Heart stations countrywide were the first as they quickly, neatly and quietly slashed 33 local stations into just 15 regional ones.  Soon after, Smooth Radio wrung the chances by chopping down its 5 regional stations into one national broadcaster with sixty jobs being lost company-wide.  This is only the beginning and other radio groups are sure to follow, simply because its such a BRILLIANT way to save money.

Many of my peers are panicking about the changes.  It means that the rickety bridge that is radio has just become even more unstable and everybody's job could be compromised in the heartbeat.  This isn't news, though.  I've read stories of radio presenters losing their jobs in a heartbeat, going on air to talk between the songs unaware that once they do their last link before the end of the show they are already unemployed.  It's a tough, cutthroat, ball-grabbing business.  Everybody wants to get on and only a small number of people actually do...and now, there's even fewer job opportunities than before.

I honestly thought I would be scared by all that's happening, but I'm not.  I've known for a long time that there has to be a price for simply talking between songs, and I guess that this is another example of that.  I finally got my foot in the door in 2008 and have always managed to keep my foot in it.  I promised this year that I would, quote "kick that door in" and in the last few months I've metaphorically given the door two short, sharp nudges and have just begun to step back for the final thrust.

Many people are saying this is "the End of Radio", and I don't believe that either. Whilst Radio is being taken apart, it's only so I can be built up once again.  Something will happen that will put radio back in the marketplace.  By the end of the year, we may very well have only a fraction of the existing radio stations still active, and there is no better a time for a little Broadcast Breakthough, a Radio Revolution if you will.

I don't know what that will BE yet...but let's just call it "Radio E" shall we?